Hi! We're Trish & Jesse

Welcome to Dating On Purpose. We’re glad you found us, and we hope this site, our social channels, and other content become a source of inspiration to building greater intimacy, trust, and happiness as you choose to make your marriage a priority. 

Dating On Purpose began as a Christmas gift Trish gave me several years ago. We had reached the point in our marriage where material gifts were no longer meaningful. So instead of giving me something I didn’t want – or needed even less – she handed me little blue journal with a simple message inside: 

“This year my gift to you is a date each week for the entire year, and a journal for us to record our thoughts after each date.” 

Trish had given the gift of her whole self. It was the best present I ever received. And it changed the trajectory of our marriage. 

On paper the rules were simple, but the results were profound. Weekly, we would take dedicated time, just for the two of us. 

• Grocery shopping or a trip to the store didn’t count 
• No repeats (this was a goal we established about half-way into that first year) 
• The date had to be planned in advance and intentional by purpose 
• Our dates had to happen every week. No excuses 

By the end of our holiday break, we had a long list of ideas – enough to get us through March at least. Together, we put a weekly date on the calendar. And I’m happy to say that we’ve never missed a weekly date since. 

Gradually, those date nights became more than activities. The time together became sacred, and the lasting impact this weekly practice has had on our marriage is measured in the pages of that first journal and those that have followed. 

But let’s make one thing clear. This isn’t easy. Trish and I are both busy parents and working professionals. I travel regularly for work, and Trish is no stranger to late nights at the office with clients.

One week I was only in town for a single day – a Wednesday – and it happened to coincide with the opening of a merry-go-round at a large venue near our home. We may have been the only adults on the ride that evening, and we undoubtedly received a few suspicious glances from some parents and the workers – but we didn’t care, and I guarantee we had more fun than any kid on that ride. Our Wednesday date was only 30 minutes long, but the memory and story will last our entire lives. 

Intention is what matters, not the size or magnitude of the activity. Just plan with consideration and the rest will follow. 

Every couple will face challenges and trials that stress their relationship, and Trish and I are no exception. In fact, we had a wonderful marriage leading up to that first journal. But as we started taking time for each other, our marriage began evolving in unexpected ways that made our relationship healthier. We recognized that: 

• We felt an increase in love, respect, and appreciation for one another
• We were better able to deal with and resolve conflicts
• We were slower to anger and frustration and more patient with one another
• We developed a greater sense of empathy and trust 
• We were more patient and sensitive towards each other
• We were able to communicate, listen, and show more compassion to each other

Do we believe the simple act of going on a weekly date resulted in all those benefits? Of course not. We do believe, however, that planning and anticipating the date, and then spending quality, intentional time with one another was all part of the process of learning to truly love and appreciate one another on a whole new level. Dating is, after all, how we first fell in love, and dating is what has ended up keeping us in – and strengthening – that love. 

Since that holiday, we’ve started posting our dates online. People often ask for ideas, inspiration, or the tools we use to plan and organize our time together. This book represents our years-long quest to organize and collate into one place our different notebooks, calendars, and apps so that you and your partner can Date.On Purpose. Similar to Trish’s original gift, it is our gift to you. And our hope that it brings you and your partner just as much joy as it has brought to us.